Helical Optimum, etc.


The words to the double acrostic:

H A V E   A   L O C H ,   E L L I S . . . a monkey named Beppo
Engaged to be merry is F U N if not hep
Lo, tide; hie, poor thermic: Mick hails, re king/Brut
In dust (re: us) Lee seeks a nap — O Lee — Frutti
Can apple us canopied not — or with stadium
An endlessness bodes well des mondes & Dez Tutu
Lest rad (y yo) active . . . . . . unmade of vanadium

Above the acrostic is a drawing of Air Force Two, and above that is the tagline “Featuring AIR FORCE TWO as Candy,” and above that is the double-barreled title ENTITLEMENT, or, Your Guest Is as Good as Mined.

I posted the image in Facebook, and it was met with bafflement, exemplified by my beloved girlfriend’s comment, “??? Well, you done flew that copter right over this poor gal’s head.” I HAD pointed out that, as it was St. Patrick’s Day, I was honoring the occasion by presenting a green-tinted page that was full of Blarney; but that there was a subtext of fiscal conservatism.

The acrostic is loaded with puns. I’ll give you the first one: “Have a loch, Ellis” is a riff on Havelock Ellis, a pioneer in the study of atypical sexuality.

Also, here is my Facebook response to Denise: “Let’s get in the chopper and have a fun ride, Darling. The message is hidden in plane sight: our Founding Fathers did fine with no need for Air Force One, let alone Two. PS: LBJ had a bowling alley installed in the White House basement. PPS: Congresscritters keep voting themselves Louis XVI perks. Sackcloth & Ash em, says I! [smiley face]”


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